50/50

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this is a sensitive one. first, it’s been a long time since a melody has come with lyrics. this one did.

i go back and forth between loving and hating it. it’s stuck in my head. and it’s been so long since that’s happened, i’ve been staring at it and hearing it, over and over. i can’t decide if i love it or hate it. posting to get some distance.

second and lastly, i self-doubt, over-analyze, overthink…i live so in my head i’m often the last to pick up on details outside of my focus. my naivety is a running gag. but if i infer a thing that interests me, watch out. i’ll be immersed in moments. i can drown.

the lyrics

flipping a coin would provide the same clarity
given a choice i will see what i want to see
raise myself high just to slam myself low
it’s a horrorshow horrorshow horrorshow

picking up vibes like they’re clues you’ve been dropping
i’ll believe what i want given the option
with little evidence i draw conclusions
find hidden meaning in my own delusions

set me straight
i need a good talking to
my head’s way past the clouds
among the stars with you

trace a new constellation
is this intuition
who am i listening to

i’ll take an observation
to a full obsession
is it me or is it you

reading the signs from the angle you offer me
picking and choosing what i count as prophecy
what do i trust of the who where and why
when it’s not written in crystalline sky

i can’t shut down all these signals receiving
and without the facts i have trouble believing
what do i trust of the when where and how
who is living in the dream world now

set me straight
i need a good talking to
put it in black and white
tell me the truth

trace a new constellation
is this intuition
who am i listening to

the smallest slights
turn my days to nights
is it me or is it you

who am i listening to
i don’t know how to lose
tell me the truth

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